Feedback: How to give, receive, and grow from it
Imagine training for the Olympics with no one telling you how fast you ran or how high you jumped. If you aren’t aware of what and how you can improve, how can you ever expect to change, improve or really build upon what’s going well?
You can’t. Because the reality is, it’s impossible for people to develop without feedback.
Why you need to give the right kind of feedback
We’re not talking about just any feedback here – it needs to be the right kind of feedback, given in the right way.
A Gallup poll found that only 26% of employees strongly agree that the feedback they’re getting is helping them do better work. Badly delivered feedback makes us disengaged. It can end up leaving the person with the wrong impression or putting them offside, which can damage trust and relationships.
On the other hand, with better feedback comes more trust, more engagement, and more progress – that’s why it’s the “breakfast of champions”.
Given how high the stakes are, how can you ensure you give the right kind of feedback, and receive any feedback with the best mindset?
Let’s dive in…
How to give the right kind of feedback
Granted, feedback isn’t always easy to give. If nothing else, make sure any feedback you give is timely, honest and thoughtful.
Lean on these pointers to help:
1. Ask permission
Only give feedback if someone asks you or you ask for permission first. This will ensure they are in the right frame of mind to receive the feedback. That’s not to say you need to be in a formal setting, just that they should be ready for it.
For example: “I have some feedback for you on your report. Is now a good time to share it with you?”
2. Tap into your empathy
Always give feedback with the person's best interests in mind. The best feedback is delivered through a lens of empathy. Many people are fighting battles you can’t see, so consider the person’s unique circumstances, motivations and priorities. It can be as simple as pausing to ask yourself, “Where is this person coming from?”
3. Don’t wait
When you notice a problem, find a way to surface it with the person immediately, so they can implement changes. Don’t hope a problem will go away, or assume someone else will give feedback.
4. Make feedback futuristic
Address the potential for improvement, but focus on the future. Rather than getting caught up in the problem and all the details, zoom in on the desired outcome.
For example: “Your pitch was engaging and persuasive. I feel like the opening was very strong, but I think you could end on a more powerful note.”
5. Be clear and concise
It's difficult to process more than one or two points of constructive feedback. So, be succinct and specific. Always provide clear examples of what your feedback is based on. Blurry feedback is a recipe for misunderstanding.
For example: “I noticed that you did X during the client meeting yesterday.”
6. Lean positive
As Mary Kay Ash, business leader and entrepreneur, famously said, “There are two things people want more than sex and money… recognition and praise.”
Look for opportunities to praise successes, even as you offer suggestions for improvement.
Positive feedback is like espresso: uplifting and invigorating. It reinforces a person’s belief in their own abilities and skills and motivates them to tackle even more difficult tasks. By highlighting what someone does right, you encourage them to do more of it.
7. Follow up
Check in to see how the person is going with the feedback, and when you notice efforts to improve, point them out.
How to receive feedback
Feedback goes both ways. So how can you receive feedback in a way that will maximise your improvement?
Here are some tips:
Pay attention to your reaction
Check for triggers and emotional response. If you find yourself reacting defensively to feedback, ask yourself “why?” and keep asking until you get the real reason.
Listen to learn
You are listening to a perspective which might be different to yours, so it's natural to only hear what you want to – you need to actively listen and remain open to what is being shared.
Commit to improve
Receiving feedback is only useful if you action it. Take the time you need to reflect on the feedback and consider the most essential things that you need to change. Then, make a plan and develop goals that are meaningful and achievable.
Remember, you don’t have to take on feedback that you don’t agree with, as long as you are not rejecting the feedback just to protect yourself or being defensive.
Ask questions
Not sure you understand the feedback? Ask for clarification. Want some advice on how to action the feedback? Ask for suggestions. In many cases, simply asking questions like "Why is that important?” or "How could I approach this differently?" is a great place to start and shows you’re taking the feedback on board.
Say thank you
Show your gratitude after your colleague or manager has given the time to help you. A simple “thank you” goes a long way.
Over to you
Now that you understand how to give and receive feedback, start putting the skills to work as you lead a team to success. Start learning more leadership today – download Hodie.
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