How to Get A Grip: Keeping Perspective When Life Gets Hairy
Is your world in turmoil? Sometimes life gets hairy and moving forward just feels like hard work.
When you feel like things are spinning out of control, there is one thing that can help:
Perspective.
Perspective is about how you see the world and your role within it. Sure, there are some steps you can take to get things back on track, but everything you do should start with getting perspective.
Look at it this way:
Change is inevitable.
The economy goes up and down, a global pandemic separates us from loved ones and forces us to live life on Zoom, and the weather throws everything it can at us.
Nobody is immune to bad things happening and sometimes it may seem like life is conspiring against you. But your perspective has a huge impact on your actions and choices.
Fight the negativity bias.
Did you know our brains are wired to focus on the negative?
It’s called the negativity bias, and it overemphasizes negative experiences. Think about any time you’ve received some negative feedback from your boss. Even if they usually praise your efforts and work, that one negative piece of feedback hijacks your thoughts.
But there’s a solution. By consciously focusing on this bias and working on emphasizing the positives, experts say you can actually build new neural structures in your brain.
Work out what you can control.
The ability to reframe a situation is a skill that can transform your life. How you respond is the one thing you always have control over – no matter what the situation.
Look for the things you can control. There are some things in life we have control over, but there are plenty more just out of our grasp.
When things start to go wrong, people try so hard to change things they have zero control over, such as:
Other people
Mother Nature
The past and decisions already made.
Instead, you need to focus on what you do have control of:
Your reactions
Your attitudes
Your future choices and decisions.
Strip away the excess.
Often things feel overwhelming because … drumroll … they are.
So simplify.
When working through a difficult issue or situation, you need to be able to focus. The more things you have on the go, the harder it is to focus.
You need to bring your focus back to the things that matter. Make a list of everything on your plate. Then, delegate or defer everything except the most important issues. That’s where you should focus all of your energy and attention until they are under control.
By getting the big issues sorted, you will feel stronger and more in control, and can get back to less important issues.
Stay focused on the big picture.
It’s easy to get caught up in the details when you’re facing tough situations.
Developing a sense of perspective will help you to stay attuned to the bigger picture.
Remind yourself of your goals. Where do you want to be in your career, relationships, and life? Know that the challenges you are facing are only temporary.
Challenges bring growth.
Okay, there’s nothing worse than people telling you that “you’ll look back at this moment in years to come and realise what you learned.”
But the truth is no one ever accomplished anything truly amazing without battling obstacles and challenges along the way. Transitions and setbacks are often the kick you need to move forward.
Some of today’s most successful ventures were created on the heels of fantastic failures. James Dyson created 5,127 different prototypes of his bagless vacuum cleaner over 15 years before he had one he could confidently pitch to retailers – and it was rejected.
The Airbnb founders were turned down by seven prominent Silicon Valley investors for their revolutionary accommodation idea (you can even read the rejection emails they received). Look who’s laughing now!
Find the positive.
It’s not always as easy as it sounds, but you can find something positive in whatever life throws at you.
One approach is to be grateful. This means paying attention to the positives that exist around us, however small, and being thankful for things, places, and people in our lives, rather than worrying about what we don’t have.
Self-fulfilling prophecies don't have to be negative, but if all you see is the downside you'll find yourself living in wave after wave of unwelcome events.
Break the negative cycle by finding endless possibilities and opportunities that this challenge may bring.
Remember, this too shall pass.
Life is always changing, and the good and bad will come and go. When times get tough, remember it's not forever and sometimes you just need to ride it out.
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